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Saturday, September 16, 2017

I Can't Face It Yet

                                           

My plan was to read Hillary's book and then write a review on this blog.

So I pre-ordered, What Happened.The book was released this week and suddenly, there it was on my Kindle. I told myself I would begin it it as soon as I finished the novel I was currently reading. I came to the end of that book but What Happened is still unopened. I started a mystery instead.

I've decided I'm just not ready yet. Even nine months later, that wound is simply too tender to pick off the scab and start it bleeding again.

I was a passionate supporter of Hillary both times she ran. I think she was cheated out of both elections in a way that put women in their places and showed us how far we had not come.The first time, she was screwed by the Democratic establishment. Bernie fans think that establishment cheated Bernie in 2016. Well, now he and Hillary are even.

In 2008, the party was seduced by a hip young black man. The woman, as women do, had worked her butt off for the Democrats, served the tea and cookies, did her homework, got A's on every test, stayed after class to tutor others. But she was sort of dowdy and remember those thick calves and those pants suits and that screechy laugh? The party pulled its little tricks to give Obama the edge, like making an Idaho caucus mean almost as much as a huge state primary like New York and not counting Michigan and Florida's votes until they agreed to throw their vote count to Barack.

I was furious with the Democrat establishment and I still bear the residual effects of that fury. I was asked to do some things by the Dems in 2008 like have coffees and make donations.

I said, "oh, us old women are good enough for the scut work, huh? Well, you can kiss my ass."

I came only reluctantly to supporting Obama although I think he made a fine president.

As if all that wasn't bad enough, Hillary was gang-raped in 2016 by multiple assaulters - Bernie, Trump and his supporters, Putin, WikiLeaks, the media and last, but certainly not least, James Comey.

In 2008, the campaigns, both the primary and the general, were relatively tame. There were the usual arguments about policy but everyone seemed to have a line to negativity they didn't cross over.

But then 2016 happened and both campaigns turned sharply ugly. I disliked Bernie Sanders from the git-go and the longer it went on, the more I disliked him. He gave Trump some of his best material against Hillary by portraying her as a corrupt vessel of the big banks. He was a most ungracious loser, totally unlike Hillary had been when she lost to Obama. He campaigned on until the convention and even when he finally endorsed her, he never seemed as if his heart was really in it. And his fans' hearts certainly weren't. They pissed and moaned about how he'd been cheated. He was the only candidate "pure" enough for them. Like Trump as a Republican, Bernie ran as a Democrat only so he count on the party benefits and apparatus. Many of supporters resented Hillary so much, they either voted for Trump for didn't vote at all. And look what they stuck us with?

Then it was Trump himself with his penchant for demeaning little nicknames for his opponents, his lies, his coarseness (i.e. the Access Hollywood tape) his phony piousness, the way he stuck his knife in the wound of our national divisions and made them wider and deeper than they had been before, a division that only continues to grow, pulling a low-life trick like inviting the "Clinton women" to the debate to throw Hillary off her stride, stalking her on stage with his male arrogance and contempt for women, his constant accusations about criminal behavior as regards to emails. And his supporters, I guess, thinking it was cool to chant "Lock her up." What a sickening mess it all was.

And it is still going on. Look at Facebook any day and you will see groups like The Deplorables still posting memes about how she is a traitor and should be in prison or hanged....for what, they don't know.

Of course, we now know WikiLeaks and Putin were one and the same. We know Trump played hanky-pank with the Russians. We know the Russians paid hackers to hack into the DNC and gave Trump the information via WikiLeaks. We know Putin paid for ads on Facebook to tell scurrilous stories about Hillary and that Trump's fanatical supporters ate it up like it was a hot fudge sundae. She not only had, God how many people, 20 or so, killed but she ran a child molestation ring out of a D.C. pizza parlor in her spare time.

The media didn't help at all. They were entranced with Donald Trump. They broadcast his every utterance live. He was an entertaining scam artist, great for ratings. Meanwhile, not a day went by that they didn't tell us about Hillary's e-mails although it wasn't much of a story. Nothing more than Condi Rice and Colin Powell had done. I read once that during the whole campaign season. her emails were featured somewhere every day for over 600 days.

And afterwards she was blamed for her own loss. She was too wooden. She didn't explain what she stood for in a way people could understand. Bullshit! I knew exactly what Hillary stood for - raising the minimum wages, cheaper college, improving the ACA to cover more people. working against climate change, changing the bank rules so what happened in 2008 could never happen again. The problem was that those were boring subjects compared to Trump's no-details, pie-in-the-sky proposals. "We'll build a great wall and Mexico will pay for it, believe me on that!"

And then there was James Comey, dropping his announcement that they were investigating more of Hillary's e-mails 11 days before the election even though when they looked into it, it only took them a couple of days to say there was no there, there. Why didn't he check it out first before he said anything? And why didn't he also tell us that Trump was under investigation for possible collusion with the Russians? Comey's excuse never made sense and it still doesn't.

And finally, there was misogyny, among women as well as men. It runs deeper even than racism. Women simply don't get the respect men get. The best woman can't compete against the worst man because of our continuing sexism. That was proven in 2016.

I can't sort of understand why men choose to stick together but why do women do it? Why do we have contempt for our own gender. Why are we willing to excuse and forgive Trump, lewd and crude liar that he is and yet expect perfection from a fellow woman. I will never understand and I don't think I can ever forgive.

Nope, my feelings are still much to raw to read What Happened. 








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